Some lessons have been learnt early in 2013 for a certain member of our family. I will share these in case they prove to be useful to others:
- When looking for a flat share do not expect Facebook to have interviewed the chosen sharer for suitability and compatibility. Ring her and discuss things in person, that way there will be no surprises.
- Alcohol is consumed on New Years Eve; this may be excessively so at a house party. When under the influence of said alcohol it is best to avoid speaking truthfully to strangers ( or friends for that matter if you would like to keep them so )
- Friends should be informed that the polite and correct term is transgender (see point 1). Do not let this be forgotten especially in the situation described in point 2. Tranny is not to be used as an alternative.
- If there is a lapse of memory and the alternative is used in conversation please ensure that this does not occur when the insulted is rolling out the pastry for the vol-o-vents. A rolling pin can easily become an offensive weapon.
- If all of the above does happen do not panic and ring the police.
- If you have not taken heed of point 5, then when the police officer diffuses the situation and offers you and friend ( one with bad memory) a lift down town, do remember the officer has to be professional at all times. Do not recount the tale whilst under the influence, when feeling over dramatic "this is the WORST New Year's Eve of my WHOLE life" and in a style somewhere between Larry Graysen and Alan Carr. And especially do not ask the police officer why he has tears rolling down his face when you get out of the car!
Disclaimer : whilst this blog does not condone the threat of violence nor lapses in politically correct terms; the writer does have empathy with the police officer, as I woke with sore ribs from poorly suppressed laughter having heard the same version as he. Pantomime is alive and kicking, or so it would seem!
On the alpaca front all is well. Back to rain again today after a bright New Year's Day, and I am back to business. We have changed the venue for The British Alpaca Championships; unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances, it looks like the venue at Kendal may not be open in time. Therefore, we have booked the Exhibition Hall at Borderway Mart in Carlisle (just off junction 43 of M6). This is a great space (if a little further north!) with plenty of free parking and accommodation within walking distance.
Still on the show front; we are already looking forward to The British Alpaca Futurity 2013. However, as I have agreed to be a ring steward, I will have to be on my best behaviour this year (it will make a change!). Anyone booked their hotel yet?
On the alpaca front all is well. Back to rain again today after a bright New Year's Day, and I am back to business. We have changed the venue for The British Alpaca Championships; unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances, it looks like the venue at Kendal may not be open in time. Therefore, we have booked the Exhibition Hall at Borderway Mart in Carlisle (just off junction 43 of M6). This is a great space (if a little further north!) with plenty of free parking and accommodation within walking distance.
Still on the show front; we are already looking forward to The British Alpaca Futurity 2013. However, as I have agreed to be a ring steward, I will have to be on my best behaviour this year (it will make a change!). Anyone booked their hotel yet?
Hehehe! That was hilarious!:) Lisa
ReplyDeleteLove it - what a panto! You can just imagine the story being retold in the police canteen! At least 2013 is off to a funny old start for you. Shirley & Robbie
ReplyDeleteOk, not sure what to make of that (very amusing as it was), presumably offspring related?
ReplyDeleteBeing a PC I am far too often non-PC (or un PC) so everything can be excused by people misinterpreting or mis-hearing.
I am often mistaken or misheard, as I am sure you are!